Stress and Confused

Dear unknown,

I have a few things I would like to say I don’t know if you will be able to understand but I hope you do.

I get up every day and am gracious for life but that doesn’t mean am alright. I am constantly fighting a battle with my life, will I make it through this day, will I be alright. I refuse to succumb to the circumstances I face but that doesn’t mean am alright. I want to be better than I was yesterday and greater than I can be tomorrow but that doesn’t mean am alright.

My life has never been one where it was all black and white, my success didn’t come overnight I HAD TO FIGHT. I am proud of who I am and where I am but don’t think I don’t sometimes fall. I wish many a time I didn’t have to fight this hard but truth is I wouldn’t be the same if i didn’t. It’s not that my life is bad because currently I have a great life but everything does get overwhelming at times and I tend to drift back to the person I once was. I sometimes cry but can’t figure out why I am upset, hurt or in pain. I know I should be grateful and I am grateful but sometimes I tend to still say I want or I wish. I am constantly fighting a battle between smiling every day and showing I am fine and just giving up and showing the world I am hurting. Only issues is I don’t want to be pitied I just want to be understood and loved for who and what I am. I am tired of hearing so why didn’t you do this way or when you said this I felt bad, my intentions are to get the message across and to not hurt you or be hurt.

Give freely expecting little is what most say but the truth is I give freely and I am expecting in return just not from the same person. I will love you more than life itself but doesn’t mean I love you over life. How do I express the millions of thoughts I have towards you for you to understand when I myself is just as confused.

I’ll wake up dreading the day but at the same time excited for the day. I am caught between what I am feeling and what I should be feeling. How do I be happy when I am sad. I don’t what to get up and always be sad or have sad thoughts, the face I am showing should be the one I am truly feeling (HAPPINESS).

I wasn’t always like this there was a time when my happy face actually meant I was happy and my sad face rarely came out because I refuse to be anything but happy. Of lately though when I look at all that is happening around me I start to feel sad, I start to think how I wish things were this way and this was that way. I know I won’t always get what I want but at this time in my life, I would expect that certain things would have already been place.

I want to be happy and contented with my circumstance I just don’t remember how to do that.


Hurt and Confuse



Each day holds the key to great success for tomorrow, never let your fair strike you out. Having the resources but failing to use it creates barriers. The goal is maximize on today’s circumstances, to create the best opportunity for tomorrow.

Positive movements

Go in the mirror, look deep into those eyes and repeat these words……”tomorrow I am going to out shine who I was today, I am going to prove to you that everytime you say I can’t I WILL”.



Wants vs Needs..Holds different meaning

There are times when our surrounding gets the best of us and we want to succumb to the hardship and give up. We want so bad to just not have to deal with that issue. To remove all the bad and the negativity of it all and only have the good and the positivity.

But if you were to do that, would you really enjoy life. If everything was going good, life had no problems you got everything you wanted and need. Would that be a happy life?

Most times we want to hide or run from reality, however our reality helps to mold us into the person we are, it sets us apart from everyone else.

Alright let us break it down, we all have a need right? The need is to buy a car. While our need is to buy a car, we all want a car for different reason. It could be you want a car to just get around while your friend just needs a new one. Here is where it gets interest you friends car satisfy their need of wanting a new car while yours gives you moblity. It’s the same NEED but different WANTS.

It’s the same with life we all have the same surrounding but our outcome will be different. Your outcome will bring you the satisfaction it is suppose to bring, even if you don’t think it is the right one. So don’t be so quick to give up, your want is greater than your need.